The Mental Load of the Holidays: Protect Your Time, Energy & Sanity

Holly Blakey
3 days ago
2 min read

December carries its own brand of the invisible load - planning, ordering and tracking family gifts, school performances, teacher gifts, travel planning, grocery lists, fun social events, coordinating extended family, and keeping the magic alive for your kids.

It’s usually all (or mostly) great... but it's also a lot. And so many parents (yes, I know it's mostly mothers, but I want to give credit to the dads out there carrying the load too) feel like they’re “failing” when really, they’re carrying the emotional weight of everyone’s season.

Here’s your Breathing Room guide to softening the mental load and creating space for the holiday magic that seems to elude us each year when we're burning the candle at both ends.

1. Name the Invisible Tasks

When you can name it, you can manage it. The December mental load might include:

Ordering holiday cards
Figuring out outfits for photos
Remembering class party contributions
Coordinating travel details
Buying (and hiding) gifts
Wrapping, labeling, storing
Making treats for school
Picking teacher gifts
Booking babysitters
Updating the calendar
Remembering to RSVP for things
Tracking and attending events
Managing everyone’s expectations
And on and on...

When you see it on paper, your overwhelm makes sense, and also decide what you can actually take off the list for yourself this year...

2. Use the “Swap, Simplify, or Skip” Method

Go down your list and ask:

Swap – Can I swap this for an easier option?
Simplify – Can I do a simpler version?
Skip – What can we let go of entirely this year?

Traditions are the best – it's what makes this time of year magical. But you know what else is magical and that your kids will always remember? You being present with them and actually having energy to participate. Traditions can feel supportive, not exhausting. Maybe you decide, "nope – not going to take family photos this year." You might decide to push off teacher gifts a few weeks when the holiday dust has settled and you make them "New Year Gifts" :). Or maybe you always host a yearly neighborhood party and decide to skip it this year. The world keeps turning, and you get back how many hours with your family? We're the ones who create expectations in our head - no one else.